A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.
Asketh - Anonymous
you’re such a fucking lying piece of shit, anon do not trust this bitch she is an absent father, she wouldn’t even father my plant.
i watered speckles for the very first time and she stood aside checking her phone. imagine this trash at your kid’s first recital, and instead of video taping she reading mattress porn smh
i never once said i wanted to have this plant with you and you come around with your lies and your drugs, and the next thing i know i’m on a bus and on my lap is a sorry leafy excuse for son